A certain autistic echolalic 7 year old with a photographic memory and a speech impediment said something very strange at school last week….. “Chippendales two bit whore!” soooooo of course I got a call from the teacher. She asked him where it’s from and he said (picture this being said in a very nasal monotone): “Big Nate, I Can’t Take It! page 184″ (yes I promise he said the page number!). As she’s on the phone I open the book to page 184. Nate is selling a calendar to an old lady who says “I’ll take the puppies one”. Nate says “or….. Chippendales 2004: Hot N Beefy”! 2004. Not two bit whore. My kid is horribly inappropriate but the speech impediment makes him much much more so. An entire chapter of my upcoming book shall be relegated to things they yell at school that make me look like the world’s worst parent.
Mother’s day with a kid with encopresis: I was on the phone saying “yeah, happy mother’s day, I cleaned up three accidents today”. The culprit walked by and said “they were on PURPOSES!”
Happy mother’s day, one and all!
Irony: when my kid tells *me* that I’m raising his blood pressure.
THIS is what we should be talking about. Not lighting it up blue, not talking about how neurological differences are au-some…. THIS is what we should be talking about. I thank my lucky stars each day that no noses have been broken yet in our home— nobody has been hospitalized yet. My twins, indeed, are the HIGHEST functioning children of parents in this facebook group to which my friend refers in her post. But I fear for the future……. if things worsen and my kids get bigger and stronger than me. I know for certain that my son would have been put in residential treatment years ago if not for the therapies and medications we’ve tried thus far. My goal in life is to keep my kids home with me, regardless of well meaning friends’ comments “you can’t live like that! Send them to live in a treatment facility!”
THIS is an au-some post. Yes, the term au-some is fine. Just don’t tell me that autism is au-some because it’s NOT.
Proud echolalia moment: Mr. SortedMegablocks, my wonderful hubby, told the kids that when he was a kid he wrote on a test: “Roses are red, violets are blue, this test stinks and so do you.” So guess what Fred wrote on a test…. in first grade? thank goodness for teachers who understand echolalia and simply put a smiley face….. one of these days one of my kids will do something APPROPRIATE and I’ll just be in shock.
me: “Wilma, stay away from your brother, he bit you and he’ll bite you again— just stay away from him.” Wilma: “but mommy I’m just trying to pick his butt!”. I swear, this book is writing itself…….