Musings from an Orthodox Jewish work at home mom of twins with Autism Spectrum Disorders.

Time to put these in one place—- hilarious kids of mine.

 

#‎youmightbeanautismparentif‬ your 9 year old uses pick up lines on the cashier at the pharmacy. And she’s not even good looking. “Did you eat hot peppers? Because YOU SMOKIN’!”

#‎Youmightbeanautismparentif‬ your 7 year old SON is singing “my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard”  (this happened two years ago but needs to be categorized here)

#‎youmightbeanautismparentif‬ notations about what the Dow Jones industrial average is doing are written on your porch in sidewalk chalk by your 6 year old and you’re not phased. Oh…. and the house number of his girlfriend who lives a few streets away.  (this one from 3 years ago— entertained yet?)

#‎youmightbeanautismparentif‬ you tell your 6 year old to try to poop on the toilet (because YOU’RE trained to watch for the dance) and he responds with: “three eights equals point 375.” converting fractions to decimals? NO problem. Taking care of toileting needs? we’re getting there.

#‎YouMightBeAnAutismParentIf‬ at your first time at playground world, your kid is the one memorizing the prices of the play structures and avoiding the actual playing as much as possible. no slides, no rock climbing wall….. I DID get him into a couple swings and hammocks– but one look at the trampoline and he started freaking out.

#‎YouMightBeAnAutismParentIf‬ your kid can tell you that 6! = 720 (who taught him factorials???) but HAS to fall asleep with a particular stuffed animal in his mouth after at least an hour of jumping on the bed.

#‎YouMightBeAnAutismParentIf‬ your daughter prefers an MRI to a trip to Chuck E Cheese.

#‎YouMightBeAnAutismParentIf‬ you catch one twin picking the other’s nose.

#‎YouMightBeAnAutismParentIf‬ you think hard about what day it is as you’re laying out your kid’s day of the week undies—- you DON’T want to get it wrong.

Fred got suspended for reaching into a (male) student’s pants and underpants to touch him inappropriately.  Just in the past few weeks, he looked up inappropriate videos on the school computer, got suspended for violence, and now this thing that’s just……. *sigh*—– yeah it’s bad. The roller coaster of these kids and their issues is intense.  I cannot believe how FAR he went this time.

Suspended kid really feels suspension is a complete deterrent. (not) He was home without his sister. Even though I’m not taking him anywhere fun  (yup, he asked), and even though he doesn’t get to stim on the ipad/tv etc because I’m a mean mom who is making him play outside and draw, he’s pretty much in 7th heaven—- a house without Wilma. Want to give my kid a consequence that makes sense? Send him to Wilma’s school for the day and make him be with her all day long.

So tomorrow will be his third day of suspension in the past month.  School went straight to suspension, no stopping at FBA/BIP even though his last one was two years ago.  On the one hand, they need to show the other students/ parents that even though Fred has special needs he gets CONSEQUENCES for his actions.  On the other hand, suspension is not a deterrent.  If you ask him WHY he got suspended, he says “for screaming”.  ugh.  Emergency IEP meeting on the 26th.  I’ll be asking for a one on one aide.  Spoiler alert:  I’ll be told no.

I COULD and will, at some point, blog about the fact that Fred has been suspended three days in the past month (and had another major incident that didn’t lead to suspension), and that these incidents didn’t lead to a new FBA/BIP before suspension and that I’ve got an emergency IEP meeting coming where I’ll ask for a one on one aide for him (and likely be told no)…. but I’m truly not in the mood.  I wasn’t GOING to blog during this get ready for Pesach kind of week, but my 10:00 pm Sunday phone appointment got rescheduled for tomorrow, and the rest of the house is asleep, so……  I choose to blog about Rabbi Twerski.  I’ve been wanting to share snippets of my favorite books on this blog and bit by bit I will.

These snippets are from Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski, M.D.’s “Letters To My Children”.  Things I want to remember and refer back to.

The Incident of The Whirlpool: As a medical director of a psych hospital, Rabbi Twerski was on constant call.  He had a two week vacation and decided on Hot Springs, Arkansas— no sight-seeing, no adventures, just REST.  He got into a whirlpool bath, and sat for…. five minutes.  He was told that the treatment was twenty five minutes.  He could not tolerate the peace and quiet and being alone with himself for more than five minutes.  “In your whirlpool, you were deprived of all possible diversions.  There was nothing to read, nothing to watch, nothing to listen to, and no one to talk to.  Being stripped of all diversions, you were left in the immediate company of yourself.  You were alone in a tiny room with someone you don’t like very much.  No wonder you were miserable.”  (negative self worth)

“I have often said, only half in jest, that there are four essentials to human life:  1) food and water, 2) clothing, 3) shelter, and 4) someone to blame.”  (accepting responsibility)

“…The salesman saw that the peasant had put the suit on over his farmer’s clothes and said, ‘My friend, you have to take off your old clothes.  No suit will fit properly if you wear it on top of your old clothes.’  We might wonder why we have difficulty achieving an enduring simchah.  It is because we are trying to put it on top of our former concept of simchah.  …….. we may better understand simchah by contrasting it with its opposite.  the opposite of simchah is despair.”  (on simchah)

“R’ Samson Raphael Hirsch made an important observation.  R’ Hirsch, among others, contends that when two Hebrew words are similar, their meanings are somehow related.  The words samei’ach (happiness) and tzomei’ach (growth) are almost identical.  This means that simchah requires growth.  There is a seed of simchah within every person that can be developed into happiness, but like a delicate plant, it must be cared for and given adequate water and nutrition.  Only then can it sprout.” (on simchah)

His third grade teacher speaking with him years later….. “Then I said to your mother, ‘Mrs. Twerski, I was sure that you were going to reprimand me for putting Abraham in that play.’ Your mother said, ‘If what we have given him at home is not strong enough to resist the effects of a non-Jewish holiday play, then we have totally failed’.”  (on public school– resistance to non Jewish influences)

More to come— this is a great book.

For your entertainment….

how can a child who has 4 different types of marker sets (some are smelly), at least 3 crayon sets, the largest colored pencil collection of ANY 3rd grader I’ve met….. a nice assortment of smelly pencils…. and he knows he’s getting smelly PENS for his birthday in a few weeks…….. how can this child SCREAM AND CRY that I’m saying NO to buying “duo tip” markers? And hello, you purloined my old scrapbooking markers– those ARE duo tip…… sorry you ain’t getting the exact ones you want you ungrateful art supply hoarder.

This morning’s free entertainment for you brought to you courtesy of my certifiably insane children: They were having a getting dressed race (because I overslept of course) and Fred was winning so he said “I’m red hot— 290,000 KELVIN!” Wilma, having only learned of F and C, but not Kelvin (what 8 year old knows Kelvin?) asks….. “who’s Kelvin”?

Just got a facebook message from Fred’s amazing intervention specialist who reported another incredibly funny one liner from everyone’s favorite 8 year old little professor: *****This was a funny one liner from Fred during Hanukkah…someone asked him what he got as a gift one night and he said “well… I had a tantrum so I got a big dose of Jewish guilt!”*****

usually I make the challah dough 11:00 thursday evening but since my schedule is free today of all the usual Thursday stuff I’m doing it now and having Wilma do all the stirring. I told her she’s stirring the ingredients even better than I do and without missing a beat she informed me “that’s because I’m a trained professional”.

We were eating dinner and I told Fred to eat his grilled zucchini. Fred said, “No, I don’t want to. It squeaks when I eat it.”

Wilma said she thought 5 times 0 is 5. I reminded her it’s zero and anything times zero is zero. Then I told her it was confusing for me back at her age too and she said……”you had multiplication way back then, Mommy?” Yes, dear, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth……

I just can’t BELIEVE the things people say to my husband and how little respect he gets.

Today a student sat on his lap (a middle school boy!) because there weren’t enough chairs in the room.  The student was told it was inappropriate so the student said “hey, the guy only has 2 kids— he’s gotta get it somewhere!”

Sometimes my husband wears colored shirts to school.  Or a colorful tallis during davening.  The rich parents are complaining.  If regular parents complain in a private school, nothing happens.  If the RICH parents complain, people get in trouble— for NOTHING.  Tell me where in halacha it says men can’t wear colored shirts.  Or a nice tallis with color.

And because he wears such things, he’s now being called Lipa.  Lipa!

Lately the difference in middos between different schools has been eating at me and I just need to VENT.

I Spoke Too Soon

You all knew this was coming.  When I posted in June, things were going well.

The last four weeks of the twelve week long camp mommy?  well…..  it was basically a screamfest.  Before I even woke up most mornings, she’d take the ipad out of his hands (hello, we have two ipads, why fight over one?), he’d scream his head off and yup, she got bitten at least three times that I can recall offhand….. before I even opened my eyes.  They were sick of each other.  They needed school.  They needed to be away from each other.

Today was day two of school.  SO FAR SO GOOD.  And when they’re home after school they love each other again.  She tells him she missed him.  They hug each other.  From 4:00 to 8:00, all is right with the universe.  From 7:00 am to 8:00 pm, it’s not so simple.  But when they get the break, it’s a beautiful thing.

And me?  With my break I get to catch up on work and laundry and bill paying and organizing and cleaning and work and laundry and bill paying and organizing and cleaning and shopping……… well today I got my bottom braces put on (had only top ones until today- my upper jaw needed more expanding) and took a nice LONG nap— go me!!!

Tag Cloud

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 50 other followers