Musings from an Orthodox Jewish work at home mom of twins with Autism Spectrum Disorders.

It’s been far too long.  But I’ve been launching a new business website, and now I have three businesses which are all vying for my attention.  My main business, plus my two side businesses, one of which I did some extra training and moved up a level last week.   I’d LOVE to be the special needs mommy who does laundry, cooks, bakes, pays bills, and organizes while the kids are in school, but even with full day kindergarten my days are still frantic and hectic because I need to do all that stuff PLUS tackle all the business stuff.  PLUS email teachers.  EVERY.  Single.  Day.  Other autism mommies, are you getting the DAILY emails?  Doesn’t it get old?  It’s always something…..

Wilma is not allowed to come on field trips without a parent accompanying her.  “We cannot support her behaviors in an open environment”.   So there’s always a field trip (#2 is coming up next Wednesday and it’s only early October) and if I don’t come, she’ll give me hell because she won’t be allowed to go.  So erev Yom Kippur (for the non Jews, that’s the day before a Jewish holiday— big cooking day)— I was at the zoo all day.  Next Wednesday, it’s the fruit farm.  Is it legal for them to require a parent just because she’s special needs?  Probably not.  I don’t want to fight it.

Fred is biting every day.  On days he doesn’t bite, he hits and/or kicks.  I get the notes home always with the smiley faces noting that the other kids are accepting of it and encouraging of him “use your words!  Calm down!”.  I’ve nicely requested an FBA twice.  They want to wait until they see CONSISTENT biting (read:  a week without a Jewish holiday where the kid is THERE every day).  Fine.  I’m not fighting it yet…. but after the chagim (Jewish holidays), I might just call a conference.  They plan to beef up the ISA’s presence with Fred (kind of like assigning him a one on one aide which is what the FBA would probably lead to anyway)— but will Mr X’s presence pinpoint the source of the biting, or just be a response block?  I don’t want to fight it.

Fred is now on 15 mg of abilify per day.  Yes, FIFTEEN.

The gifted program at Fred’s school did extensive testing on him and want to grade accelerate him.  HELL to the no.  You’re going to put a kindergartener who is BARELY potty trained, can’t make friends, can’t share, can’t take turns, can’t be patient, can’t take no for an answer…. into first grade?  So they’re going to speak to Fred’s teacher and IS and figure out a plan to get him some gifted work to do while remaining WITH his peers and learning what he needs to learn in kindergarten.  Sure, he can do fifth grade math now, but if you ask him to wait in line he screams and bites.  They told me they’d never had a kid in the school be so academically advanced while so emotionally/behaviorally deficient.  Thanks, gang, good to know.

Between the center for autism follow up appointments, the center for autism outreach appointments, the old psychiatrists and the new psychiatrist, the neurologists, the weekly therapy appointments, the weekly outreach appointments, the speech therapy, and now I’m being told my kids can’t possibly exist without a weight loss program (for Wilma) and occupational therapy outside of school hours…… I’m beginning to think I need a full time secretary just to schedule my kids’ lives. On the other hand— I think I’ll hire one secretary for that, one to run my businesses, and one assistant to take care of my housework while I go take a nap.

 

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