I get it EVERY day. “You should talk to _____. Her son is on a gluten free diet and now he’s toilet trained!” “You should talk to ___________. Her daughter goes to (name xyz special school that costs a million dollars here) and is doing great!”. My favorite was when I was told to talk to _____________ who is a frum mother with a son with autism. I was told she’s a great resource and knows how to get a lot of help from the board of developmental disabilities. I knew nothing about her son. I called her up. Turns out her son is a teenager— not verbal, not toilet trained, sent by the district to a special school. So the board of DD gives her daily respite support. Great. When your kids are higher functioning (my twins will be 6 in January and are verbal and are toilet trained/training) you cannot get the same amount of support no matter how hard you beg. The board of developmental disabilities feels they’re too high functioning. SSI feels they’re too high functioning. The school district feels they’re too high functioning to be sent out of district “oh, we can handle their needs right here!” (sure, stick an ISA on them and call it a day.)
I couldn’t possibly write any better than my friend here about this concept—- people telling us they know a kid with autism who……. — please read this, it’s good stuff.