Musings from an Orthodox Jewish work at home mom of twins with Autism Spectrum Disorders.

The twins are almost seven. I want to be done with toilet training sometime in this century.

Fred does 100% great AS LONG AS I *tell* him to go pee every hour and a half to two hours. If I keep my mouth shut he happily wets himself and doesn’t even say a word until I notice or until the next time I tell him to go pee. If I ask him why…. guess what his extremely brilliant response is? “I don’t know”. For poop, he poops about once a day in the toilet after the dance. I notice the dance, I TELL him to go poop. At school THEY notice the dance and THEY tell him to go poop. If a day goes by with no dance and no poop, I sit him on the toilet 2-3 times before bed and if nothing happens, take a wild guess what happens AFTER I put him in his nighttime pullup and go downstairs? He is considered toilet trained— so darn it, I want HIM to take responsibility sometime in this century for his own bodily functions— I want him to understand what it feels like to have the need to urinate or defecate and transmit that feeling to his brain and have his brain tell him to ACT upon it. Any ideas, folks? Otherwise, right before he walks down the aisle at his wedding I’ll be TELLING him to go potty.

Wilma has the same pee problem— she needs to be told—- but every now and then she DOES initiate for pee— it’s so wonderful to hear the words “I have to go to the bathroom”. Poop? Well. After 4 xrays, a spinal MRI, manometry, metamucil, ex-lax, probiotics, 3 miralax cleanouts, 1 enema cleanout and at least 2 enemas a week, her PHYSICAL megacolon/ encopresis problem is indeed FIXED. There is no way this child is having a physical problem anymore. However, at almost age 7, she still shows NO signs of understanding when she needs to poop— no dance, no nothing. Every night after dinner I tell her to go poop. Most nights she does. Some nights she tries and doesn’t succeed and I give her an enema and that’s the only way we MOSTLY avoid accidents. But some days, like today, I’m taken back to the days of 10-17 poops per day never in the toilet. Today she had a horrible “accident” (hard not to put it in quotes….. does she REALLY SERIOUSLY have NO idea it’s coming??? she’s NEVER initiated a poop in the toilet EVER!)—- I threw away her underpants, put her in a pullup, took away rewards for half an hour (no ipad time or computer time after homework), and she had another “accident”. I’m the one who gets kicked in the face while changing her (like a baby). I’m the one who gets shoes thrown at my head. But I’m not the one who walks in the door and complains about the smell. Anyone who walks into my house and complains about the smell needs to change an almost seven year old who doesn’t want to be changed. This girl will not be allowed to date until she takes responsibility for getting herself to the bathroom for every pee and every poop. In other words, she’ll be single and living with me forever.

SO sick of toileting. I do not have babies—- I DESERVE to be done with potty training.


Comments on: "Can I just hire someone to finish toilet training?" (1)

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