A certain autistic echolalic 7 year old with a photographic memory and a speech impediment said something very strange at school last week….. “Chippendales two bit whore!” soooooo of course I got a call from the teacher. She asked him where it’s from and he said (picture this being said in a very nasal monotone): “Big Nate, I Can’t Take It! page 184” (yes I promise he said the page number!). As she’s on the phone I open the book to page 184. Nate is selling a calendar to an old lady who says “I’ll take the puppies one”. Nate says “or….. Chippendales 2004: Hot N Beefy”! 2004. Not two bit whore. My kid is horribly inappropriate but the speech impediment makes him much much more so. An entire chapter of my upcoming book shall be relegated to things they yell at school that make me look like the world’s worst parent.
Archive for May, 2014
Mother’s day with a kid with encopresis: I was on the phone saying “yeah, happy mother’s day, I cleaned up three accidents today”. The culprit walked by and said “they were on PURPOSES!”
Happy mother’s day, one and all!
Irony: when my kid tells *me* that I’m raising his blood pressure.