Musings from an Orthodox Jewish work at home mom of twins with Autism Spectrum Disorders.

Hilarious Snippets

Me: “you just showered so what am I smelling? Must just be puberty.” Wilma: “ooh…. great name for a cologne.”

 

And….

 

#YouMightBeAnAutismParentIf your 11 year old wanders up to you to inform you of today’s letter of the day.

 

And….

 

Wilma: “mom, where do babies come from?” Me: ” mommies’ bodies” Wilma: “no I mean….” Me: “gulp”……

Wilma: “Like…. can you order one on amazon?”

Yes dear, and with prime you get free shipping……

 

And….

 

In a fit of rage, Wilma tore apart one of her shoes. So my husband said “well I guess you won’t be wearing those anymore”.

Wilma in her nice calm perky manner replied: “well I can still wear ONE of them, just not the other one”.

 

And….

 

It’s that time of the evening when there just might be a naked 11 year old loudly singing “Guantanamera”in the bathtub. That’s after he complains that we don’t have enough whiskey to get us through the evening. My life truly is a sitcom.

 

And….

 

I was explaining to my husband (in front of Wilma– my mistake) that I’m buying Fred a new toy because I broke his old one and that it’s 20 bucks or so. So Wilma says “if you’re buying Fred something worth 20 bucks why can’t you get ME one of those mini backpacks from Justice I’ve been wanting?” I said…. “I’m not buying him something— I’m replacing something I broke- it was my fault. Have I broken anything of yours?” Oh this kid. She said……

“yes– my heart!”

 

And….

 

CP got in trouble for screaming and crying over a mathematical argument at therapeutic horseback riding. (how many inches are in 15.3 hands– horse measurement stuff).  #YouMightBeAnAutismParentIf

 

And….

 

Dinnertime at our household…..

Wilma:  Fred is using his chair as a musical instrument!

My husband: So what? You use his butt as a musical instrument!

 

 

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