Musings from an Orthodox Jewish work at home mom of twins with Autism Spectrum Disorders.

Organized Bullying

I’m beginning to think that the only thing organized in some (not all!) Orthodox Jewish communities is the bullying, both of children and of adults.

It’s a small group of teens and adults who continue to bully my husband, but boy are they loud. And constant.  And causing us to argue about moving.  ALL.  THE.  TIME.  Our son is supposed to celebrate becoming a Bar Mitzvah in two months.  We’ve done nothing.  We absolutely cannot agree.  Should he be called to the Torah at all?  What will happen?  Should we have a kiddush?  Who might show up?  Sadly, we may just buy him some special treats and congratulate him and let the community simcha part just……  blah.

Tonight, some bochurim called a treif restaurant FROM the synagogue, ordered treif pizza to be sent to our address (lovely, they’ve got our address) and gave the name as “the retard manager who attended Yeshivas I once ate pork”.  (they call my husband retard manager because he used to be a para in a couple of the Jewish schools working one on one with students with special needs.  The organization that hired him and the schools could never agree on what his job actually entailed, and the students looked at him as a babysitter.  The schools didn’t care about the middos of their students, so years later these kids and their younger siblings are still calling my husband these horrible names.)  The Yeshiva—– well, we’re Baalei Teshuvah.  We catch flack for that too.  Apparently Yeshivas I Once Ate Pork is quite popular because I have a lot of BT friends, but I digress.

Where are these boys’ fathers?  Not at mincha or maariv with them supervising them, that’s for damn sure.  Where are the Rabbaim?  Well if the boys are from important families, families of Rabbanim or Rebbeim, or rich families……  my husband is always told to just “be mevater”.


Comments on: "Organized Bullying" (1)

  1. Yocheved (FranticFrummie) said:

    Oh honey, I am so sorry. Like you don’t have enough on your plate already. The girls of similar families are the reason my daughter is OTD. The rabbis who protected the bullies will have a LOT to answer for at 120. You couldn’t pay me enough to stand in their shoes in the world to come.

    Will it help to remember that when you are quiet in the face of rebuke, all of the other person’s mitzvot will be given to you, and all of your avierot will be given to them? You will at that moment have the ability to give very powerful blessings to everyone around you.

    I know it is incredibly painful, and I don’t know why this is happening to your family. Saying “It’s all for the good” is easy, but it’s not so easy to believe when it’s happening in your face.

    Sending you lots of hugs.

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