Musings from an Orthodox Jewish work at home mom of twins with Autism Spectrum Disorders.

Archive for December, 2021

Winter Break Starting Early

Both kids are home till January. After the second incident at Wilma’s school which brought her home mid day Monday, police haven’t finished their investigation so finals are postponed till January. It’s a large public school and copy cat syndrome is real. High schoolers all over the USA are learning that they can post a few words about shooting up the school with a pic of a gun and they can get school shut down for a day or two (or four and a half). Yes, she and her bro are in 9th grade this year. 9th! Today is Wednesday— she was home half a day Monday, then Tuesday, and now Wednesday through Friday and THEN two weeks of winter break. These incidents brought her to TEARS but the school handled her so well. Knowing she has autism and adhd she was escorted out of class for both lockdowns to work one on one with a staff member and not have to just scream and cry in the classroom. She got a phone this summer so she texted me 40+ times during each lockdown (before an early police escorted dismissal) freaking out—- nice that I knew what’s happening from her perspective but ugh.

Fred is home because of covid quarantine— I think (but am not certain) that one of his classroom teachers has covid. So his whole class (all five of them) are doing virtual learning last week and this week up to winter break and THEN two weeks of winter break….. so he’s also home for a month. But he didn’t need to put on a shoe all week since he’s been home, so that’s good….. he got 8 stitches in his foot a week ago tonight. He’s getting his stitches out (hopefully) this Thursday morning.

To clarify for anyone who assumes I’m always complaining…… I do post a LOT on here about hilarious things my kids say and do. I LOVE my kids. I LOVE spending time with them. HOWEVER. They have severe behaviors. Wilma’s is refusal. oppositional defiance disorder as part of her autism and adhd. I ask her to do something and she won’t. I can do plenty of planned ignoring and quietly taking away priveliges until I get the desired behavior but her twin brother CANNOT. DEAL. WITH. HER. BEHAVIORS. His knee jerk behavior when I ask her to come back to the bathroom and wash her hands after using it (for example) is to scream and run after her to bite or punch her. He’s a rule follower (other than screaming, biting, and punching…..) and can’t handle it when the rules aren’t being followed. He ALSO has autism and adhd and his autism comes with a huge side order of aggression. So double meltdowns happen every school break— winter, spring, summer. They need plenty of time AWAY from each other and they get that with the structure of school. Two different schools since preschool. So BREAKS ARE HARD. Plus with his aggression we don’t go to hotels or out of town or on long car trips or visit people or…… etc. Plus because of her physical issues we don’t leave them overnight (I’m the only one allowed to do her nightly medical treatments— she won’t even let hubby go near her). ok, thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

ps sometimes we get a 2-4 day break from being bitten and punched but this week between her two times being sent home early from school incidents and having days off after each incident during police investigations and his getting 8 stitches in his foot and oh I didn’t yet mention a 14 hour power outage which threw her into overdrive throwing him into multibite mode, the behaviors have been on high alert around here. Over break I HOPE things will get better with PLANNED time off from school and stitches coming out and no more power outages (they scare the crap out of Wilma giving her PTSD from our 4 day power outage last year). Of course over break we have 2 psych appts, 2 OOD appts, 2 board of DD appts, one stitches coming out appt, 1 derm appt, and 1 medication shot appt.

Many people planning winter break—- oh, we’ll get together with family, we’ll travel to another state, we’ll go to parties, maybe a concert………. us planning winter break…… only 9 appointments so far……. what else can we do so that she doesn’t yell “I’m bored” over and over which will throw him into multi-bite mode?

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