Musings from an Orthodox Jewish work at home mom of twins with Autism Spectrum Disorders.

Archive for the ‘Biting’ Category

Winter Break Starting Early

Both kids are home till January. After the second incident at Wilma’s school which brought her home mid day Monday, police haven’t finished their investigation so finals are postponed till January. It’s a large public school and copy cat syndrome is real. High schoolers all over the USA are learning that they can post a few words about shooting up the school with a pic of a gun and they can get school shut down for a day or two (or four and a half). Yes, she and her bro are in 9th grade this year. 9th! Today is Wednesday— she was home half a day Monday, then Tuesday, and now Wednesday through Friday and THEN two weeks of winter break. These incidents brought her to TEARS but the school handled her so well. Knowing she has autism and adhd she was escorted out of class for both lockdowns to work one on one with a staff member and not have to just scream and cry in the classroom. She got a phone this summer so she texted me 40+ times during each lockdown (before an early police escorted dismissal) freaking out—- nice that I knew what’s happening from her perspective but ugh.

Fred is home because of covid quarantine— I think (but am not certain) that one of his classroom teachers has covid. So his whole class (all five of them) are doing virtual learning last week and this week up to winter break and THEN two weeks of winter break….. so he’s also home for a month. But he didn’t need to put on a shoe all week since he’s been home, so that’s good….. he got 8 stitches in his foot a week ago tonight. He’s getting his stitches out (hopefully) this Thursday morning.

To clarify for anyone who assumes I’m always complaining…… I do post a LOT on here about hilarious things my kids say and do. I LOVE my kids. I LOVE spending time with them. HOWEVER. They have severe behaviors. Wilma’s is refusal. oppositional defiance disorder as part of her autism and adhd. I ask her to do something and she won’t. I can do plenty of planned ignoring and quietly taking away priveliges until I get the desired behavior but her twin brother CANNOT. DEAL. WITH. HER. BEHAVIORS. His knee jerk behavior when I ask her to come back to the bathroom and wash her hands after using it (for example) is to scream and run after her to bite or punch her. He’s a rule follower (other than screaming, biting, and punching…..) and can’t handle it when the rules aren’t being followed. He ALSO has autism and adhd and his autism comes with a huge side order of aggression. So double meltdowns happen every school break— winter, spring, summer. They need plenty of time AWAY from each other and they get that with the structure of school. Two different schools since preschool. So BREAKS ARE HARD. Plus with his aggression we don’t go to hotels or out of town or on long car trips or visit people or…… etc. Plus because of her physical issues we don’t leave them overnight (I’m the only one allowed to do her nightly medical treatments— she won’t even let hubby go near her). ok, thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

ps sometimes we get a 2-4 day break from being bitten and punched but this week between her two times being sent home early from school incidents and having days off after each incident during police investigations and his getting 8 stitches in his foot and oh I didn’t yet mention a 14 hour power outage which threw her into overdrive throwing him into multibite mode, the behaviors have been on high alert around here. Over break I HOPE things will get better with PLANNED time off from school and stitches coming out and no more power outages (they scare the crap out of Wilma giving her PTSD from our 4 day power outage last year). Of course over break we have 2 psych appts, 2 OOD appts, 2 board of DD appts, one stitches coming out appt, 1 derm appt, and 1 medication shot appt.

Many people planning winter break—- oh, we’ll get together with family, we’ll travel to another state, we’ll go to parties, maybe a concert………. us planning winter break…… only 9 appointments so far……. what else can we do so that she doesn’t yell “I’m bored” over and over which will throw him into multi-bite mode?

Stay Away From Us!

Haven’t had an evening this terrible in a whole week. I am physically and emotionally SPENT. Wilma’s therapist had to tell me to “breathe, just breathe, just focus on breathing” for a good 20 minutes while I hyperventilated. Anyone know how to cry but control the over the top hyperventilating? I’d like to have a cry when I need to (my shoulder got injured in the chaos and it hurts, but not enough for the ER) but not have it affect my blood pressure and physical being for hours afterwards.

Anyhoo…..hubby went for a walk to get away from it all and ran into someone who doesn’t know our situation all that well and didn’t know that we haven’t taken a vacation since 2006 and certainly doesn’t know that hubby had just been punched and bitten. She said “you look a little stressed…. perhaps you need a vacation”. WRONG THING TO SAY TO ONE OF US unless you’re handing us a qualified babysitter who could handle a potential dangerous situation….. who Wilma would allow to do her medical treatments (she won’t even let hubby do it— I’m the freaking only one allowed near her). Go ahead, y’all. FIND the perfect babysitter for an autistic 14 year old who is likely to beat you up and harm you physically……. who can also do medical treatments on a 14 year old who WILL. NOT. ALLOW. YOU. TO. DO. SO. Soooooo we don’t vacation. Ever.

She should have STAYED AWAY FROM HUBBY.

A certain head of an Orthodox Jewish day school saw my husband at shul with his sleeve rolled up (the men roll up sleeves to put on their tefillin) and told him he shouldn’t roll up his sleeve in shul because he’s scaring the boys from his school at davening with his bruised up arms. Gee, sorry our getting chomped by our aggressive kiddo is terrorizing the same twerps who run around calling my husband the “retard manager”. (I’ve probably mentioned it before— a large group of boys from that school call my husband horrific names because he used to work there as a 1:1 para (with a “retard” (note the quotes– I hate that word— but those boys love it and are never called out on it) and he himself has kids with disabilities, who, according to this stellar group of young men, are “retards” as well.

He should have STAYED AWAY FROM HUBBY.

In short….. if you’re approaching us to tell us to take a vacation, tell us God doesn’t give us what we can’t handle, tell us that God gives special kids to special parents, or to tell us that we’re scaring children with the bruises we incur by being punched and bitten……. just STAY AWAY FROM US.

It’s Been a While…..

It’s been a while!

Most of you know we’ve got 14 year old twins with autism. Fred is extremely aggressive – we get attacked all the time. Wilma is doing BETTER over the past number of years but certain things with her are a major issue and she instigates everything with her brother. Both kids are verbal but two of the toughest, behaviorally, in the county, according to our board of dd. My kids have been to WAY more doctor and therapy appointments than playdates or road trips/ vacations. That’s just the way it needs to be. We took a break from therapy from the tail end of 2019 until the middle of 2020— things were going ok with no therapy at all through winter of 2019 into 2020. By the end of our journey with the previous therapy company, NO therapy was a definite improvement. Then Corona hit and from March through August my kids had no structure whatsoever and Fred was back to biting, hitting, and kicking us and having massive scream fests. Anytime I tried to suggest a family walk or a science experiment or art project or ANYTHING…… Wilma thumbed her nose up at the suggestion and refused. She RARELY got out of pajamas from March through August 2020. Because we had broken up with the other company for various reasons (that will be a whole other blog post someday!) we attempted to get therapy via a different company. Insurance would no longer pay for that type of therapy for the twins because we had already had so much of it. (Plus they turned 13 in January 2020 and it’s much harder to get teens this type of therapy than it is to get it for younger kids). We went back to the board of DD to work with their free program for kids who need a lot of help who aren’t currently working with a therapy agency– specifically for the highly aggressive kiddo. We got lots of zoom appointments and it all boiled down to us needing to get the other kid into more structured therapy again because she’s poking the bear. If he were an only child, we’d have a fairly decent handle on his aggression at this point, and on his behaviors in general. But whatever the board of dd tells US to do…… the other twin won’t do. She won’t ignore, she’ll start yelling instructions, she’ll offer to restrain her full sized (he gained 100 pounds in the past year!) twin brother, etc etc. We’re literally ten seconds away from the county insisting on placing him to keep the other three of us safe. He knows that, she knows that, everyone who has seen my husband’s body lately knows it. (he scars easily). Sooooo, the board of dd got us on a waiting list for therapy that’s supposed to be the creme of the crop. For HER. Great, we’ll give it a try. In the first 2 months of therapy with the new company, the therapist missed three sessions due to a death in the family— company gave us no sub. Then she’s back and we’re finally STARTING to make progress with some of the programs she’s putting in place—- whammo, she’s moving to San Francisco next week. We’re at the point where we’re afraid to have no therapy for these kids and we’re afraid to keep going with therapy because there’s never a guarantee of COMMITTMENT, of continuity, or of the same gosh darn person being in our house for more than a month or two. Wilma burned through 13 therapists with the previous company in just a few years. To add to the rotating dance of therapists in and out of our lives, it’s hard to keep the kids on the same medication regiment for more than a few months…. every psychiatrist in the city has the same ideas— let’s try this— hmm, ok, we’ll increase that med….. take her off that med….. put him on this med……. I’m getting TIRED. No advice necessary, it’s just time to VENT. I’ve been quiet lately around here. Thanks for listening! I’ll try to post more often…..

Psych Admission?

To those parents who have been there and done that—–  how did you know it was time for a psych admission? What do they do that’s helpful? serious question. We’ve never admitted Fred (yet) — we’ve gotten beaten, kicked, punched, bitten—- but USUALLY (pre corona) on 4 strong medications he’s done in 10-15 minutes. Now with no structure he’s up to 45 minutes to an hour of hell making his sister cry, us cry, my husband scream at me to call the police, me trying to calm my husband down—- but I just don’t know how the hell a psych admission would help him or would it be more of the same— well let’s try this med, let’s try that med……. do these places actually ever take a kid OFF all meds and start fresh based on data they take? HOW does a psych admission work? One of us would have to stay with him and one of us would have to stay with his sister— for a week? Two weeks? How do parents WORK while this is going on?  We’ve been  living off savings this summer but hubby goes back to work soon.

I was getting dressed after my shower tonight and I made the mistake of looking at myself in the mirror— you know in the movies where you see domestic violence victims seeing their bruises in the mirror?  Yeah.

Agression Regression

yet again we JUST BARELY escaped the hospital and the police because of Fred.  By sheer LUCK the neighbors didn’t call the police and by sheer response blocking experience we didn’t land in the hospital but we have some shiny new bruises. Hubby has a loose tooth and will call the dentist in the morning.  No  dental insurance — if it’s going to be a crown it will be about $1000 we don’t have, right?  In addition—-  Fred bit my husband’s arm down to the bone—- an arm/hand surgeon  said there isn’t nerve damage but there might be bone damage.  There were many hours that he had no feeling in his hand but feeling is coming back now so I’m optimistic there.

It was only an hour but it was a VERY LONG HOUR when before covid craziness the worst of the worst was down to maybe 20 minutes two times a week– now it’s EVERY day for at least 20 minutes but tonight an hour. I’m dripping in sweat. Some of my friends in an autism moms facebook group go through this for MORE than an hour— every day—- I just….. ugh…….. Wilma who ALSO has autism was crying her eyes out saying how unfair it is and how she wants to run away.

Fred is now on  Depakote, straterra, tenex and Lexapro.  (ALMOST as many meds as Wilma!) He was at his best at the beginning of the abilify and Risperdal days (before he was on the largest dosages for his weight and they each stopped working).  So— back  on the meddy go round we go.  I guess we’re going back on one of those.  This psych just loves our family.

At last count, the four of us are on  Fred (4), Wilma (5), me (4), hubby (6) prescriptions every day—- and some randomly like all my post surgery meds for the 3 surgeries I had in the past 6 months.  I should really open a pharmacy.

Autism is kicking my ass lately.

SO Inappropriate

Fred tried to lay on top of me lining his crotch up with mine—- AGAIN. Then when we told him he’s not allowed on my bed for two weeks because he is being inappropriate he went into multi bite mode…. AGAIN. So of course then my husband yelled out….. And you want to have a Bar Mitzvah kiddush??  (He yelled at ME—– Fred couldn’t care less whether we celebrate his becoming a Bar Mitzvah).

PS—- one of our community bullies ALWAYS notices EVERY bite mark my husband sports on his arms.  My husband is hesitant to roll his sleeves up at Daf Yomi because the jerk asks with intense snark…. “oh so you got a dog?”.  “DISCIPLINE!  You must POTCH your children!”  Yes, because abusing them will teach them not to abuse us.  Great plan.

 

 

Eight Years Old: The Official Update

All in one post because I’ve been ignoring this blog (what else is new?) while I get busy with life.

First, her encopresis/ megacolon.  We’re stuck.  We are down to one normal sized bowel movement a day  (thank GOD!)…. AND STILL the random soilings as well.  When she soils we make her sit on the toilet, get the rest out, and be calm while we wipe her and change her.  Every night after dinner she needs to produce on the toilet.  If she doesn’t, she gets an enema.  That was all fine and dandy until recently she decided she no longer wanted enemas so the threat of an enema produced a meltdown.   A 30 second procedure shouldn’t involve an 8 year old screaming for twenty minutes. Wishing there were better options. But when you’re left with very few options after trials of other stuff, (Miralax brought her back to the 10 to 17 soilings a day, new poop around impaction— she got re-impacted on Miralax) and the kiddo becomes less and less compliant, and older and stronger…… ugh. Sadly, it used to be a breeze to get this done.  She is not at all impacted.  She is on probiotics and metamucil every day.  I have NO IDEA when her nerve endings will decide to tell her brain that a poop is coming and SHE will initiate a bowel movement in the toilet without being scheduled or enema—ed.  But when that day happens, it’s party time.

Second, my husband was in the hospital for six days recently.  2 kids, 3 pets, laundry, dishes, trash, bill paying, kid appointments, etc depended on me alone that week. I had strep throat TWICE that month. Mommy doesn’t have time to get sick but get sick she did anyway.  He was in for a horrendous abdominal abcess— we have no idea what caused it but he needed six days of IV antibiotics and a couple weeks of oral.  He’s fine now— some residual pain if someone bumps into him in that area of the body– should take a few more weeks and he’ll be perfect.  waited a long time with 2 autistic 7 year olds for my appt at minute clinic. I got diagnosed with strep again. got my antibiotics, got in my car to go home, and…. minor car accident, my fault. I tapped a car while pulling out. So then there were two autistic 7 year olds screaming in the back seat because we weren’t going anywhere— the other car was a woman a bit older than me and an elderly man. The woman was trying to calm the man down by taking a photo of my insurance card and license but she didn’t feel there was any need to call the police— it was a tiny scratch on their car. The elderly man told me I shouldn’t have a license. Then out of nowhere he fakes a fall. He wasn’t even in the car when I hit it. He was standing next to it. All of a sudden he falls down. I burst into tears because I have a husband in the hospital, strep throat which hurts like heck, and two screaming kids. So the woman says they won’t call the police. Right then in the four minutes I was crying, of COURSE I saw someone I know. Long story short, they did NOT file a claim but MAN what a day!

Next, I got my TMJ splint. After six facial surgeries, upper jaw expander, braces, and retainer, I now have TMJ.  I need six months of splinting and then braces again.  So far, I’m taking it out every time I try to talk on the phone. You’d think I’d be used to orthodontic craziness but it’s been decades.  Good luck understanding me when you see me.  I sound like Cindy Brady.

My kids had winter break for 2 weeks. They have drawn armadillos playing the violin. They have watched youtube videos of “Fergie” as Stacy Ferguson from Kids Incorporated in 1984 (I totally remember “Fergie” as a child and they didn’t believe me). They have picked each other’s noses (I never said my children were normal). They have visited two different hospitals, watched me get tested for strep, gotten themselves tested for strep, been out to lunch and for ice cream, been to ToysRUs, been to the post office and the grocery store, and begged incessantly for ipad time. We did (try to) watch one movie—– my blood pressure is still high from that event (MOMMMMMMY CHANGE THE CHANNEL!). School came back again and sanity was restored.  But when you transition autistic kids back from winter break, a snow day is sure to hit.  then a four day weekend (Friday was teacher in service day and Monday was MLK).  Next up?  Spring break.  Kids are both having a REALLY rough time getting back into the swing of things…. psychiatrist thinks it’s still from transitioning back from winter break and doesn’t want to make med changes yet.  CURRENTLY he’s on risperdal which had been working well till now, and she’s on adderall and geodon.  Switched to geodon from abilify which was making her gain weight.  Not sure if i’m hating the geodon, or hating that we just had winter break.

And finally, Fred might be a panda.  🙂  In a neurotypical child, if mom gets strep throat twice and has both kids tested to see who the carrier is and one kid is a non symptomatic carrier of strep and gets two antibiotics, gets tested again, and no longer has strep, you’d be done.  In MY child, since I don’t know whether his behavior increases lately are from winter break or from strep causing PANDAS (I’m too lazy to explain it– please use google) since he acts a LOT like a PANDAS kid, he’s now about to do a month of a third antibiotic— PANDAS protocol with our pediatrician’s office.  If it helps his behaviors, we look into a PANDAS diagnosis (would that help him move up the medicaid waiver wait list so he can get ABA sooner?  hmmmm).  If it doesn’t, then hey— at least we know he’s no longer gonna give me strep again (which hurts like a bitch in a grownup, by the way!).

I’m working more recently.  Aside from Mary Kay and Send Out Cards I also have a small social media business.  Just one of my social media clients wants me for at least six hours each week.  Financially, yay.  Housework wise?  bleah.

Oh and Fred, dear sweet Fred.  BIG meeting tomorrow with the IEP team and the head of gifted for the whole district.  They are now giving as much attention to his IQ and his gifted identification as they are to his autism and at this point, they need to differentiate his instruction more than is comfy. I’m not sure they’ve ever seen such a low functioning kid (psychiatrically, behaviorally, socially) who is so academically advanced.  I just don’t need to be told that it’s the highest IQ they’ve seen in many many years when the boy still poops himself from time to time, ya know?   On the table is skipping a grade (I’ve said no before, but they’re starting to convince me, if they keep him superglued to an intervention specialist who gets him), a gifted program at a different school, or a really individualized program.  I’ll know more tomorrow and I will try not to wait two months to blog again so you all can catch up.  As for Wilma, she’s not gifted, doing fine academically, and will stay at her current school in the correct grade.

Now— kids are back in school.  No more hospital for Abba.  No more strep for me.  Can my life please get boring again?

Oh yeah, they turned eight.  Woot!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

April update

I don’t blog enough.  Mostly because 100% of my time is spent coordinating the psychologist, the developmental pediatrician, the outreach worker from the Center for Autism, the behavior specialist from the county board of DD, the intervention specialists at both schools (IEPs, FBAs, constant emails), and now a new psychiatrist, along with the usual regular doctors and dentists and errands and chores and such.  The other 100% of my time is spent dealing with behaviors and actually working with my kids (or playing with them, or reading to them, or wiping their butts….).  The other 100% of my time is spent working for an income.  300% of my time is accounted for, leaving no time for blogging.  My ideal would be to keep this site updated daily, but…. yeah.

I was going to post about how one twin had a horrific enco day two days ago (10+ poops in her underpants— ok after the first couple it was pullups the rest of the day, but I still had to buy yet another pack of underpants) and with the other twin SIBS (self injurious behaviors— he bites himself)  are back (4 times in the past week) and we had some massive meltdowns, but nah, I’d rather point out happy stuff about the walk and the movie from last week. Two steps back, half a step forward…… spring break till monday—- there will be at least one GOOD day between now and Monday- I’m determined.

So here’s the good news:

Taking them to their first movie (Muppets Most Wanted) was great—- everytime they lost interest we let them play with an ipad or phone for a few minutes. or go to the bathroom. or play an arcade game. I left the movie at least 3 times that I remember– but MOST of the time we were in the theater and watching. well they watched 2 thirds of it between all the ipad breaks. I loved when Wilma stood up at the beginning and said “I don’t want to watch this anymore” but then with LOTS of encouragement made it through the whole darn thing. We were the the only ones watching that movie so we took stand up and stretch breaks too. They were OKAY with the lights and sound— 6 months ago it would have been a massive problem. They both lost it a little right when we got home– no shock there. As for the movie, I think I liked it more than the kids did—- spoiler alert— don’t read on if you don’t want to know……………. Lady Gaga, Tina Fey, Salma Hayeck, Josh Groban—- LOVED all the cameos.

Right on the heels of the movie theater trip I have more good news……… most of you don’t know that EVERY SINGLE TIME we take a walk together as a family (and it has to be all 4 of us because the last time I took a walk alone with the kids it was seriously unsafe when he went into multibite mode and I didn’t have enough hands to put her in the stroller while he was off biting strangers because she lay down and refused to walk in the middle of the street— never mind…..)—- EVERY SINGLE TIME we take a walk together as a family lately, it’s gone well— up until it hasn’t. That is, we walk, we stop and talk to friends, the kids have little mini dramas over who gets to sit in the one special needs stroller because even though only one kid has a physical problem with walking a distance, the other one just falls apart from overstimulation….. as we talk to people and the kids play it’s great— and then whenever we’re almost home whether it’s 20 minutes in, or an hour in, THEN the double meltdown begins in all it’s glory and the biting, hitting, screaming ensues. EVERY walk ends up with us walking in sweating and 3 out of the 4 of us in tears (hubby is a man— no crying there– lol). We keep trying to take a walk together because it goes so well for MOST of the walk and we know that SOMEDAY we’ll have a walk that is 100% fine. TODAY IT WAS 100% fine. No permanent scars here, folks. Could be Wilma’s med adjustment, the new supplements we’ve added, the behavior charting…… all I know is that we took a walk together as a family and smiled the whole time— THIS is news. May this be a beautiful spring/summer with lots of GOOD family walks!

Autism and Aggression

There are certain images that engrave themselves on my mind from time to time. Much of the time these images relate to children, teens, or adults with LFA. My children, because they are verbal and toilet trained/training, and cognitively fine, are considered HFA. Yet I sometimes feel very alone in the HFA world as my kids (both of them) have the aggression typically associated with the LFA world. My nose has not YET been broken. I HATE saying YET but it’s the truth. My kids are getting bigger, stronger, and more stubborn. With every glimmer of improvement I see, I also see the possibility of me or their father or one of his teachers (he is aggressive at school as well as home) needing medical attention or God forbid, hospitalization.

HFA support groups don’t focus on aggression, which is our biggest stumbling block. I don’t care if my son has any friends if he can’t stop biting. Let’s get the biting under control first. I don’t care if my daughter speaks nonsense if she throws her shoes at strangers, know what I mean? LFA parents don’t feel welcoming, at times, to me, when they’re confused by my kids’ academic and verbal achievements and write us off as “autism lite”.

One of the images on my mind is this….there is a woman on a facebook group to which I belong who was changing the diaper of her teen boy when he kicked her in the belly hard enough to kill her unborn baby (she was 8 months pregnant).

There are many parents who are afraid for their lives because the meltdowns of their children with autism can be very VERY violent. There are teens and young adults who have killed their parents. There are parents who sleep in shifts.

I thank God every day that the aggression we see in our children is less intense and less severe than the aggression typically seen in those LFA children, teens, and adults whose mothers I’ve befriended. However, even though our aggression is no longer multiple episodes per day and indeed there are full days with NO aggression, I still get extremely frustrated by the comments from ignorant onlookers. “Are they retarded or something?” “Spoiled brats!” “Why don’t you give them a smack?”

Spring 2014 update

It’s been a while….

Wilma is on 6 mg of abilify and 30 mg of adderall and doing AMAZINGLY both at home and at school. At school, there are virtually NO more episodes of flopping to the ground and screaming her head off. At home, there are entire days with NO episodes of ODD. The adhd has disappeared into adderall oblivion and homework is a breeze. Her major episodes are all ODD related and down to a few times a week rather than a few times a day. She does pick her fingers until they bleed on purpose and get blood all over herself on purpose (she even puts it on the doorposts right before Passover— irony!), but that’s SMALL potatoes compared to the days of rolling her in a stroller screaming out of the library, being kicked out of Chuckee Cheese, etc. I’m still terrified to take them most places by myself but that’s from remembering history more than today’s reality… I think. But I don’t want to put a mahooey on it. AND—- a majority of her poops land in the toilet due to great laxative timing, and a teeny bit of command of her nerve endings! She poops in her underwear but just a little bit— tells me immediately and then I can put her on the toilet and she does the rest– huge improvement! A couple of times I’ve even caught her fidgeting and told her to try to poop— CLEAN underpants and an ENTIRE bowel movement in the toilet!

I credit our county board rep for a lot of the improvement— she’s helping me chart behaviors and target particular times of day and particular triggers. Of the Center for Autism’s outreach program, the psychologist, the developmental pediatrician, and the county board rep, she’s probably the most helpful— it’s taken a long time to gather this dream team.

This month’s improvements: Chuckee Cheese got rid of some games and brought in some new ones. She didn’t flop on the ground, scream her head off, and throw her shoes at strangers. She simply…. made friends with a new game. Amazing. We had stopped buying soda for a while. We had some this week—- she wanted some after dinner tonight. I asked her to wait until she was finished with her chicken. NO plates went flying. No forks went flying. Seriously, it looked like a typical dinner with typical children. There are entire days with no behaviors worth writing down. There have been days with 83 to 120 minutes worth of severe behaviors. But lately—- 20 minutes over the course of a day is typical for us (on a weekday when they’re mostly at school anyway, but STILL!)

Fred is on 10 mg of abilify and OFF the zoloft and doing better at home. He’s doing better at home simply because WILMA is doing better at home. At home, I don’t give him a lot of expectations. He’s had a long day at school. As long as he does his homework and goes to his after school activities, I pretty much let him have at least a half hour of ipad or computer time a day and that keeps him fairly calm until Wilma starts up. At school, however, things have gotten significantly worse. It all started during the zoloft trial period, but it’s continued and through putting together the FBA and changing up his behavior plan at school and bringing in the county board rep to observe him at school, I’m starting to wonder whether to ask for a placement change (self contained class), a one on one aide, or a different (read– expensive autism based) placement. I LOVE this district and don’t want to come in with a lawyer and beg for what costs money….. they’re trying so hard and they love him so much. But he’s biting, kicking, and hitting. He’s spending a chunk of each day screaming. The county board rep arrives to observe him and hears his screams from outside the building. It’s heartbreaking. He’s calming down at home, but so overwhelmed at school. Academically he’s fine. Socially and emotionally, he’s having such a much rougher year than last year.

Today, he fell at school first thing in the morning and bled all over his pants. They called me to come take a peek and two teachers and I all agreed that maybe he might need one stitch. So I took him to the hospital. Two episodes of Sesame Street, a green popsicle, and 3 hours later, he’s got 4 stitches. Took him back to school for the last hour of the day, came home and finally ate my breakfast at 3:00 pm after filling his pain med and antibiotic ointment scrips. Fun times.

PS— Wilma’s medicaid waiver was approved on January 29th. It’s now April 1st and we still haven’t been approved to begin services (we want ABA!). Meanwhile her behaviors have improved somewhat—- maybe if they make us wait long enough, she’ll behave appropriately 100% of the time. hah.

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