My neurotypical mom friends are talking about their five year old’s well visits and it usually goes something like this: “once in a while he’s still having accidents at night, so we talked about that”.
Um, yeah. We’re not even close to fully daytime trained let alone thinking about night-time training.
At my twins’ well visit this morning we discussed handicapped placards (I now have a prescription because of all the times Wilma SITS in the middle of the parking lot refusing to move and Fred bites her, bites me, and cars stop and honk. I’m alone with them holding both their hands and sweating. Fun times.).
We discussed wheelchairs. Wilma is 54 pounds and most normal strollers go to 55 pounds. I now have a prescription for a wheelchair or special needs pushchair due to her autism and hypotonia—- there is no way I can go most places with her without a stroller (or now, her fancy schmancy chair that, to get, I’ll have to call insurance, call her neurologist, go to a seating clinic, blah blah blah). DAILY in the middle of wherever we are, she’ll sit down and REFUSE. TO. MOVE. No amount of bribing helps. For that matter, when we take family walks with the double stroller (which we’ve truly outgrown), Fred insists on sitting. If we get rid of the double stroller and take just Wilma’s wheelchair, my hope is that Fred can use it for a BIT of each walk while Wilma walks, and Wilma can use it when she does her floppy act. He can get used to walking farther and farther distances because physically HE is completely capable. She is far more hypotonic than he is.
Any questions about eating or sleeping? Nope. Any medical issues at all? Nope, not really. Just questions about handicapped placards and wheelchairs. Hidden disabilities SUCK. All these moms of neurotypical kids look at my kids who at age 5 can read (one can write), handle a general ed curriculum (one knows third grade math!) and wonder why we’re always off to the neurologist and the psychiatrist.
Fellow special needs moms are telling me not to bother bringing up the toilet training issues, the wheelchair stuff, and generally anything out of the ordinary with the pediatrician. Just take that to the neurologist and psychiatrist. I see the pediatrician as being home base for all of our medical, developmental, and behavioral issues. I like that she has EVERYTHING in her files and when I call to ask a quick question she knows the entire history of each child.
So I’ve got the NT moms thinking I’m nuts for over-doctoring my kids and the SN mommies thinking I’m nuts for trusting my pediatrician so much. Yep I’m nuts. And a little sad that though I’m INCREDIBLY EXCITED that I went with both twins BY MYSELF this morning to the pediatrician and nobody got bitten (THANK YOU ABILIFY!)…… I didn’t get to talk about normal five year old developmental stuff, but instead dove deep into the special needs world of handicapped placards and wheelchairs.