Musings from an Orthodox Jewish work at home mom of twins with Autism Spectrum Disorders.

Archive for the ‘Vent’ Category

Not Sure I Ever Mentioned This

Did I ever blog about my husband being beat up at shul by a fellow Jew on Shabbos?  Pretty sure I didn’t— but since it’s months after the fact I’ll mention it in passing…..  the guy was taken into custody and apparently put on house arrest for a while, but my husband saw him again recently…..  this incident was the first in a series of incidents that are making us increasingly uncomfortable in our own community.  After this happened, the Rabbi Who Has It In For My Husband Who Shall Not Be Named called him yet again—— apparently when my husband fell to the ground he scared a pre-teen boy.  Yeah, sorry he got attacked— -it will never happen again.

On the table at this point is moving to another community or moving outside the community to a non Jewish place in our own city where somehow we’ll still keep halacha but not be near a shul because even in our own shul (which we love), there are still people who come in there, seemingly, ONLY to insult and harass my husband.

Trying to keep it all off the table because I’m just too darn tired to pack up and move, frankly.


Next Time He Should Wear a Rainbow Colored Shirt

This morning a Rabbi in the community who clearly has it in for my husband was seriously offended that my husband wore a blue shirt….. to minyan!  *gasp*.  He had family in from out of town and he told my husband he was attempting to “showcase people in the community”.

If this Rabbi could spend this much time working on his middos and the middos of his children and his students……



Hey Fatty

I’m no longer allowed to vent this stuff on facebook so I’ll head here now everytime my husband gets harassed or touched.  Because if I don’t vent, smoke starts coming out of my ears.

So today in synagogue (not his usual synagogue) a third grader yelled at my husband “hey fatty— you’re FAT!” over and over and over again.  His father was standing there doing nothing about it.  Then he KICKED him.  The father still did nothing about it.  Then my husband exploded (we’re working on our anger management issues….) and HE (my husband) was told he over-reacted.

Just waiting now for the phone call from the kid’s school principal because you know that’s coming next.  Every time a kid of a Rebbe, Rav, rich community member or important community member harasses my hubby and he doesn’t take it sitting down……  the phone calls come.


My Kids Are Going to Jail!

In the category of:  Stupid Things Said To My Husband That I’m Not Allowed To Post On Facebook:

“Your kids are going to jail someday because they go to public school.”

This from someone who has NEVER met either of our children.

Hubby won’t let me post it on facebook because of certain facebook friends of mine who will complain to their husbands that I “badmouth the community” and then the husbands bitch at him at minyan, daf, etc.

Maybe I wouldn’t have to badmouth anyone if anyone knew how to keep their traps shut.  And I name no names.

You Two Are In WAY Over Your Heads….

In the category of “hilariously ridiculously things said to my husband in the Jewish community— thankfully it’s not a LOT of people, just a few— but boy are they noisy”:

My husband got ps’icha 2 weeks in a row (an honor SOMETIMES given to husbands of women about to give birth but that’s not ALWAYS the case). I’m NOT pregnant and nobody thinks I am—- sometimes it’s just an honor and they want to give it to someone active in the synagogue. So this yokel says to my husband “I CERTAINLY hope your wife isn’t pregnant because you two are in WAY over your heads as it is.”

He heard my son scream. ONCE. For a few seconds. And has since called my husband a piece of …. poop.  (the nasty word.) I hear my son scream multiple times a day every day. I think I know why THIS guy was not blessed with the likes of my (very awesome) son.

He’s Gotta Get It Somewhere

I just can’t BELIEVE the things people say to my husband and how little respect he gets.

Today a student sat on his lap (a middle school boy!) because there weren’t enough chairs in the room.  The student was told it was inappropriate so the student said “hey, the guy only has 2 kids— he’s gotta get it somewhere!”

Sometimes my husband wears colored shirts to school.  Or a colorful tallis during davening.  The rich parents are complaining.  If regular parents complain in a private school, nothing happens.  If the RICH parents complain, people get in trouble— for NOTHING.  Tell me where in halacha it says men can’t wear colored shirts.  Or a nice tallis with color.

And because he wears such things, he’s now being called Lipa.  Lipa!

Lately the difference in middos between different schools has been eating at me and I just need to VENT.

I Know Why Moshiach Isn’t Here Yet

Moshiach isn’t here yet because he doesn’t know whether to wear a kippah srugah, a velvet yarmulke, black and white clothing, colored clothing…. or if she is a woman (I know, I know)— whether to wear stockings with a seam, a shaitel, a hat, a snood, a tichel……   I have a very “WHY can’t we all just GET ALONG” attitude about Judaism and my husband seems to attract the crazies!!!!!  JUST THIS WEEK:

1) Three different parents from a more “right wing” school have spoken to my husband about him working at a more “left wing” school (he had worked in the past at the more “right wing” school).  He’s gotten comments such as these.  “Have you been demoted?”  “Has your student gone off the derech yet?  It’s only a matter of time if he goes to ___ school”.  “Why did your student’s parents switch him to a non frum school?”  (It IS frum, just more left wing than the other school— sheesh— and at any rate, why the #$%#$% is it anyone’s business why a kid goes to a particular school?  Parents know their child best.)

2) One parent kept going on and on so my husband said how great it is to work at a school where the students have the opportunity to make a parnassah.  Well ok my husband should have kept his mouth shut but apparently the other man almost beat up my husband for saying that men should work for a living and not sit in kollel.  He then told him that attitudes like his bring down our neighborhood and he should move to another neighborhood.   Um, right, because EVERY man in this neighborhood should learn in kollel.  Yeah—- I see their wives are all making $100,000 a year— not.  How about supporting yourselves and not living off of government assistance as you decide to have as many children as you want?

Enough already, people.  LIVE AND LET LIVE.  HaShem has too many assistants.

It’s my blog and I’ll vent if I want to.


Editing to add a bunch of similar stuff from a previous post— may as well stick all of this crud together in one post to keep track of it all— might write a book someday about how to get along with different groups of Jews and not make yourself sound like a total asshole.

Just the STUPID ridiculous things people have said to us this summer about our kids and/or about my mother in law dying.  Here’s a fun sampling.  PS— the ones that involve Orthodox Jews?  I’ve been asked to stop posting about those on facebook because of Chillul HaShem.  You know what’s Chillul HaShem in my book?  People not being aware that people of all colors, shapes, sizes, and yes, religions can be ASSHOLES.  Sorry for the language but it’s my blog and I’ve got to curse.  Read on.


1)  When my husband takes one of our kids for a walk in the special needs stroller and walks by a particular house, a bratty kid (unsupervised of course) says….  “WALK MUCH?”   Another group of kids (with the father right there not saying anything because he can’t stand our kids even more than his children) says….  “baby baby…. goo goo gaaa gaaaa”.  Yep, fellow Orthodox Jews.

2)  When my husband asked a man at the zoo to please stop staying at our son (who was screaming “I AM A PSYCHO!”), he got punched.  HARD.  In the stomach.  (my husband, not my son.  But still!)

3)  Right to my husband’s face  “is your son still a freak?”

4)  At synagogue my husband was told he shouldn’t say kaddish for his mother because she didn’t believe in God.    Nobody said anything because the person who said it learns full time (in Orthodox Judaism the men who learn full time and don’t work for a living are held to a very high regard by many.  Me personally?  I’m FINE with men learning full time ***IF*** they can do it without Medicaid, food stamps, WIC, section 8, and all the rest because sucking off the government is not “making it” financially nor is it supporting your wife and family.)  So when someone saves for years in order to enter Kollel I think it’s wonderful.  How often does THAT happen?!?!

5)  I think the extreme idiot award goes to the person calling himself an Orthodox Jew who told my husband his mother died because he shaved off his beard like a goy (deragatory word for non-Jew). (my husband follows Rabbi Moshe Feinstein who wrote about how men living in America can shave their beards for particular reasons while being Orthodox Jews).

6)  During shiva, a tzedakah organization called for money. Hubby said no, he’s sitting shiva. They called back and left a message and an email. The email said that she died SO THAT he’d have a chance to donate to a worthy organization—- guess who is never getting a penny from us!??!?!? what is WITH people?

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